I don't have my computer back yet but I do have a bit of access to one. I'm pretty tied up, anyway, so haven't really had time to blog. I'm hoping to be back soon, though!
Recently, I said I had a lot of thoughts to blog--though it's obvious to see I haven't done anything with them! Mainly it was that I wanted to start blogging things that I had experienced or found helpful in life as a widow so that they are available to other widows. I've also wanted to list some of the resources (blogs, books, etc) that I have found useful on the journey. Sometimes, help comes in the form of nothing more than seeing yourself in someone else and REALISING YOU'RE NORMAL! I've planned to do this but, firstly, wanted to write a disclaimer post.
If I write posts for widows (and I'll try to make that clear in the title), they will be written FOR WIDOWS. Of course, anybody can read them but they may not be taken the right way. Posts that I write won't be about particular people or directed at particular people...they'll be for widows--just so they know they're normal! The thing is that, if you haven't walked in those shoes, you may not get it. Trust me, though: many widows will.
The other thing is that people sometimes take things personally because it touches a sore spot in their life. I don't want people choosing to read widow posts and then e-mailing me if they get offended! Obviously, I'm not planning to be offensive but, if you're not a widow, I won't be acknowledging any negative correspondence connected to one of those posts. If you're easily offended or feeling defensive, please exercise your right to choose not to read it. :)
Before writing this post, I received an e-mail from a mother of four who has been reading my blog for the past year and suddenly (tragically) lost her husband less than 3 weeks ago. She asked if I would be willing to correspond. This is the second woman who was reading my story, sympathising with me, and then found herself thrown a pair of the same shoes to walk in (and contacted me). I can only imagine how freakish that must feel. She is the third widow to ask to correspond with me.
I feel as though tonight has (at least temporarily) confirmed the fact that I am meant to do not only this widow post idea but also the decision to keep blogging publicly. I really could have done with a fellow traveller-widow in the early days. About 2 1/2 months in, I was blessed to be connected with a Christian grief counsellor who had experienced a tragic widowhood at the same age. Although she was 5+ hours from me, the time or two I got to see her were unspeakably helpful. It wasn't till a bit further down the road that I connected online with some other widows. Unless you've been there, you just cannot comprehend how helpful it is to see yourself in someone else and realise you're normal--but that's another post for another day!
